


The Reason

by DrawingBooks_Louayokes_5



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 5x13, Character Death, Character Thoughts, Friendship, M/M, Sad, Spoilers, songtext-related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 00:51:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8469457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrawingBooks_Louayokes_5/pseuds/DrawingBooks_Louayokes_5
Summary: This is a One Shot about Arthur and Merlin and it contains a character death happening in 5x13 so if you haven't watched the episode yet, don't read. (Don't wanna anticipate anything from the show :) )If you did or just don't care, you're welcomed to read :D Here's an excerpt from the One Shot:There is so much more I want to tell him. That he lightened my days. That he helped me be the king I am - was. He changed me. I was a prat - still am. He does not take my orders when everyone else does. Never does what I want him to do. Always gets in trouble. And all that - for me.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've been in love with this song (Hoobastank - The Reason) for years now and found that it fits perfectly to Arthur and Merlin.  
> I got the lyrics from http://www.songtexte.com/songtext/hoobastank/the-reason-bd6f90a.html and picked some parts out of it. I changed everyday to every day, because I usually write it like that.  
> I hope you enjoy!

### The reason

 

_It is dark in the cave. The only light is spent from the torch the young warlock holds in his hands._

_A voice laughs husky. It's playing a game with me Merlin thinks._

_"Where are you?" Merlin asks, searching the cave for something - anything._

_Out of nowhere, a giant creature flies up before Merlin, who jumps back immediately, and lands on a big stone in front of him._

_"I'm here." Merlin stares at the creature, turning out to be a Dragon. A Dragon! Merlin  can't believe it._

_The dragon looks at Merlin for a few moments. "How small you are for such a great destiny." it jokes._

_"Why? What do you mean?" Merlin asks and then adds "What destiny?"_

_"Your gift, Merlin, was given to you for a reason."_  
_"So there is a reason." Merlin says, feeling relieved. All along he thought he'd be an abnormality. Something that just should not be._

 _"Arthur is the Once and Future King who will unite the land of Albion." What. **What.**_  
_No way. This prat is no king. He's pompous, a blockhead, extremely mean and ... and just a prat._

_"Right.", Merlin states, but it comes out more like a question._

_"But he faces many threats from friend and foe alike."_

_Merlin shakes his head while he says "I don't see what this has to do with me."_  
_"Everything. Without you, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion." The regard of the Dragon is like a whole-body-scan. It makes Merlin feel exposed. Not a great feeling to be honest, and he doesn't wish it anyone._  
_"No. No, you've got this wrong." Merlin says, his voice hesitating._  
_"There is no right or wrong, only what is and what isn't."_  
_"But I'm serious! If anyone wants to go and kill him, they can go ahead. In fact, I'll give them a hand."_

 _The Dragon laughs. "None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin, and none of us can escape it."_  
_"No. No way. No. No. There must be another Arthur because this one's an idiot." The pure irony of what he just said echoes in Merlin's ears. But the Dragon is serious, as he answers._

_"Perhaps it's your destiny to change that."_

_And with those last words, he rises himself into_ air _._

_"Wait! Wait! Wait, stop! No, I, I need to know more!" Merlin shouted, but the Dragon was gone._

 

_~*~_

 

"You've brought peace at last." I mumble.

"Arthur." Merlin says. He supports me as we stumble forward. I let the sword fall that he gave me. Excalibur.

"Come on." Merlin begs. "We have to make it to the lake."

I want to. I really do. But I just can't. I drop to the ground, and Merlin follows me.

"Merlin..." I manage to say "not without the horses. We can't, it's too late. It's too late. " I mumble, patting Merlin's hand.

I nearly do not hear my own voice. I feel weak, weaker as any other time in my life.

"No." Merlin breathes trying to get me off the ground.

"All your magic, Merlin, and you can't save my life."

 

 _I'm not a perfect person_  
_There's many things I wish I didn't do_  
_But I continue learning_

 

"I can." Merlin insists. "I'm not going to lose you." He tries again, harder this time. It's too late and I know that. So I pat his hand again.

"Just ... just hold me. Please." I say and he stops. Our heavy breaths fill the air and time stretches.

All the time Merlin's been my servant, I wasn't exactly nice to him. Now that I know that he's not a fool, that he is, in fact, a better actor than a servant, I regret.

 

_I never meant to do those things to you_

 

I regret all those "friendly slaps" that I gave him, all those times I shouted at him in ways he doesn't deserve.

 

 _And so I have to say before I go_  
_That I just want you to know_  
 

"There's something I want to say." My eyes look into the sky, but I would prefer to look at him.

"You're not going to say goodbye." Merlin. My Merlin.

"No" I quickly agree, shaking my head. I don't want to tell him goodbye. Never. I turn my head a little, so I can look him in the eye. "Merlin ... everything you've done. I know now. For me, for Camelot." my voice brakes. I frown. It is so hard not to lose track. "For the kingdom, you helped me build ... "

 

 _I've found a reason for me_  
_To change who I used to be_  
_A reason to start over new_  
_And the reason is you_

 

There is so much more I want to tell him. That he lightened my days. That he helped me be the king I am - was. He changed me. I was a prat - still am. He does not take my orders when everyone else does. Never does what I want him to do. Always gets in trouble. And all that - for me.

"You'd have done it without me." He is so sure, he believes so much in me. My Merlin.

"Maybe." I grin. Then it fades.

 

_I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with every day_

 "I want to say..." There is so much to say. How can I say that everything that I have done, was for him? That all the times I risked my life I didn't just want to be a perfect son, a perfect prince, that I also wanted to impress him?

 That I searched for him when he was gone, that I worried for him and did not rest until he was found.

  
_And all the pain I put you through_  
_I wish that I could take it all away_

"Something I've never said to you before..." And all those times I hit him I wanted to be close to him because he was not only my servant, but my friend. And I love him like a little brother ... I lose it again, and I know there is not much time left.

 

_And be the one who catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear_

I turn my head a little further towards Merlin so I can face him. I want to do this right. This one thing I never told him. This one thing, that I must tell him now, before it is too late.  
"Thank you." I say.

Thank you, for your understanding, for your help, your support, thank you that you were here, thanks for saving my life.

Thank you, Merlin, for being so incredibly selfless.

 

 _I've found a reason for me_  
_To change who I used to be_  
_A reason to start over new_  
_And the reason is you_

 

I reach up to the back of Merlins head and stroke it.

  
_I've found a reason to show_  
_A side of me you didn't know_  
_A reason for all that I do_  
_And the reason is you_

My hand falls and I am welcomed into the darkness.

 

**_All your magic, Merlin. And you can't save my life._ **

**Author's Note:**

> OK, guys, that was it. I literally cry my eyes out right now, judge me all you want. I just need a second.


End file.
